The Creative Writer - Excuses For When Your Business Card Holder Turns Up in the Most Unlikely Places

Writing For Business and Pleasure

ArticleSection

business card holder Print This Page

humour Add To Favorites

Excuses For When Your Business Card Holder Turns Up in the Most Unlikely Places

This society's penchant for personal branding and individuality has lead to complications. When you do not want to be identified, you will be and when you desire anonymity, you will gain notoriety.

Unlike clothes, you cannot disown a personalized business card holder with business cards in it! So what happens when your business card holder is found in these places and everybody you know teases and confronts you about it?

Sleazy Motels

Sometimes, but hopefully not often, you will stay in a roadside motel with a reputation for being a lovers' nest, a prostitutes' haven, and a brothel front. This is not to say that you frequent these motels but road mishaps do happen especially when you are on a hanky-panky business with your paramour! (Such an old-fashioned yet appropriate word, don't you think?)

What do you tell your wife when the desk clerk calls to return your leather wallet with your initialed business card holder to boot?

* Your car was in an accident and the motel was the nearest accommodation available. Well, it is the truth so you get to tell just half a lie. It is good for your conscience, don't you think?

* Your buddies surreptitiously got your wallet with the business card holder tucked inside and played a prank on you. This is a good one when your buddies will cover your ass anytime of day, no questions asked, and the desk clerk is incapable of speech and thought. Good luck on the second one.

Strip Clubs/Brothels

Uh-oh. You are in trouble. But have no fear; you can always lay the blame on others, on alcohol, on fate, on the weather and on your wife herself. Here is how:

* You can tell your wife that your buddies dragged you into the club but you just watched the show. Cross your heart and hope to die. (Well, actually you crossed your fingers those girls will take it all off.) At the same time, your buddies are also laying the blame on you so that makes all of you even Steven.

* You got so drunk you were barely aware of where you were, which explains the wayward wallet with the business card holder. You slept through the whole show and your buddies helped you get home, Again, better pray to the gods of men that your buddies will cover up for you anytime, big time!

* You were fated to be there that night. If your wife is a big believer in destiny, then maybe it is your destiny to fool her, too. Maybe.

* You just found cover from a brewing storm inside the club. Is there something wrong in keeping your head safe from lightings? Certainly not!

* This is the ultimate. You can tell your wife it is her fault because either she does not cater to your needs anymore or she is not desirable anymore or that she constantly fights with you and you needed to get off steam. You can always pick a fight and divert the issue, right?

However, something bad can be said about leaving something as identifiable as your business card holder in these places. What on God's earth were you thinking when you brought your business accessories to these places anyway?

You will not be in trouble now and reading this if you divested yourself of business articles before going on monkey business, will you?