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Hollywood Does Not Leave Us Feeling Happily Ever
After
The movie... we loved it. The clothes, the friendships, even
the predictable storyline worked. The Sex in the City movie
took us back to 2003 and all the fun things we were pursuing in
the early turn of the century. (We have no idea what we were up
to then, but we figure it must have been fun because we were
five years younger and spike heels were still comfortable.) In
the film, our size two heroine Carrie is now a bestselling
author posing in Vogue as a celebrity fashion
model.
The fab four have barely aged a day and once again, they are
taking Manhattan by storm. Mr. Big is back to attempt to seal
the deal with Carrie. Sarah has that uniquely beautiful thing
going on - not cookie cutter beautiful - but smart and funny
and glamorous and stunning and outrageously genuine. (Jennifer
Grey, take note, you should have kept your old nose.) As much
as we loved the film, we do have one bone to pick - these four
gals are just too thin. At least B-FAB Jennifer Hudson plays
Samantha's assistant. Now there's a woman!
Stick thin. That is one way to describe Sarah Jessica Parker,
aka Carrie Bradshaw from Sex in the City. Then remember
oversexed Samantha. We saw Sam naked in every conceivable
position when it was the hit HBO TV show, and Kim Cattrall had
the body to get away with that - and still does. Our other two
famous femmes, Miranda and Charlotte, are lovely as well and
not a gosh darned extra pound between all four of them. It
would take at least two Carries to equal one little B-FAB.
Janette suggests that Carrie's dress would fit her right thigh
and Laura could wear her Sarah's pants as a shrug. This is par
for the course in the land of make believe; Hollywood has
always demanded successful actresses come in size zero to one.
Barely one of our arms could fit into her pant leg. Yes, we're
mad - because it's annoying.
There is a scene in the film that, frankly, almost drove us to
drink. (Okay, we already drink, but it drove us to drink more
than usual.) Samantha jets in from Los Angeles to be at the
wedding shower and bachelor party in NYC. The elevator door
opens... and everyone goes, "OH, MY GOD!" With their jaws on
the floor in shock over Samantha's tiny paunch. And we mean
TINY! Maybe Samantha had put on five pounds but all the gals
looked at her as if she were an elephant from the circus. The
camera zooms in on her bare midriff coming out of an elevator,
and from the reaction you'd think she was Two Ton Tilley. The
look on their faces said, "Samantha, you cow. How could you let
yourself go like this?" Now, as audience members who paid
$10.75 to be entertained, the movie in that moment made us stop
eating those last three kernels of buttered popcorn and our bag
of red licorice and wince with pain. We wanted to blurt out at
the screen, "She looks FINE! That's not fat. We'll show you
fat!" (Janette had to be restrained from doing that thing where
she wags her butt until her thighs applaud.) Samantha went on
to explain how she had put on weight in her unhappy
relationship with her perfect specimen of a
boyfriend/model/man-boy boy toy.
This was a ridiculous plot twist to put into this almost
perfect Sex in the City movie. Who can we complain to? The
Motion Picture Association of America? The President of the
United States? HBO? All us normal size babes have, for years,
been able to overlook these gals' dress sizes, but pointing out
a paunchless-paunch? Now they've gone too far.
We live in New York. We're considering hunting down SJP in
Greenwich Village and demanding a press conference! In our
imagination, Sarah would come out in front of hundreds of
reporters and flashing photographers and say, "Wow. We were so
silly about that fat tummy part of the movie. The next movie,
Sex in the City Two, will be all about the four of us gaining
weight while in happy relationships and learning how to love
ourselves for exactly the way we are." Then she'll tell us that
the only one who will remain thin and gorgeous is Samantha.
That's because she stays single and continues to have sex with
men half her age. Some, quite frankly, who barely speak
English. Then SJP'll wave at all of us and say, "Well, that's
the end of the press conference. Thanks for coming out." Then
she'd do an elegant Audrey Hepburn type turn in her Jimmy Choo
shoes and go back to her life as a normal wife with
Matthew.
Yeah... that will happen. And we have some swampland in Florida
we'd love to sell and maybe we should start a pyramid
scheme.
by Laura Banks And Janette Barber - 1st
September 2008
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Laura Banks and Janette Barber are the bestselling authors of
Embracing Your Big Fat Ass (Atria). They write about positive
body-image, weight-acceptance, self-esteem with humor. It's
time to love your BFA (Big Fat Ass). Janette is a 6 time
Emmy-Award winning producer/writer and Laura is a columnist at
http://Tarot.com. http://www.embracingyourbigfatass.com
Article Source:
http://www.creativewriter.me.uk
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